rules.md
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@@ -1,21 +1,21 @@
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<!-- TITLE: The ~~10~~8 commandments -->
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<!-- SUBTITLE: I am the Lord thy Sysadmin -->
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-### Love thy defaults.
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+## Love thy defaults.
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Nobody cares about your rainbows and emoji ZSH prompt customisation. *Nobody.*
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Do less to ~~do more~~ stop yourself looking like a bellend.
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-### Thou shalt use the infrastructure
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+## Thou shalt use the infrastructure
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Stop writing ridiculous code you won't understand in a week's time and put that shit in a database, or zookeeper, or whatever. Where it belongs.
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-### Thou shalt use the OS
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+## Thou shalt use the OS
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If it'll fit in two lines of grep, sed, and awk, then do that. If you need more power, then break out split and xargs -P. Your bullshit threaded Python is your problem - don't make it mine.
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-### Thou shalt always check last mod times.
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+## Thou shalt always check last mod times.
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You sure that's the right file?
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-### Thou shalt not blame DNS.
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+## Thou shalt not blame DNS.
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Despite what the Interwebs told you, it's not DNS. And for the love of god use dig - nslookup is for small children and Senior NodeJS Developers.
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-### Thou shalt respect the sanctity of stdout.
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+## Thou shalt respect the sanctity of stdout.
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If your script has nothing to say, then it should shut the fuck up.
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Logs do not belong on stdout. Ever.
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-### There is only UTC.
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+## There is only UTC.
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These servers could be on the fucking moon for all I know. Don't make me convert your not-quite-ISO8601 timestamps during a fucking outage. Not again.
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-### Those who email screenshots of PuTTY sessions to support will be destroyed.
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+## Those who email screenshots of PuTTY sessions to support shall be destroyed.
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What the *fuck* is wrong with you?
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