rules.md
... ...
@@ -5,14 +5,14 @@
5 5
Nobody cares about your rainbows and emoji ZSH prompt customisation. *Nobody.*
6 6
Do less to ~~do more~~ stop yourself looking like a bellend. Your Ansible PR has been refused.
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## Thou shalt use the infrastructure.
8
-You couldn't implement Paxos if your life depended on it.
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-Stop writing ridiculous code you won't understand in a week's time and put that shit in a database, or zookeeper, or whatever. Where it belongs.
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+We both know you couldn't implement Paxos if your life depended on it.
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+Stop writing ridiculous code you won't understand in a week's time and put that shit in zookeeper, or a database, or whatever. Where it belongs.
10 10
## Thou shalt use the OS.
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-If it'll fit in two lines of grep, sed, and awk, then do that. If you need more power, then break out split and xargs -P.
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+If it'll fit in two lines of grep, sed, and awk, then do that. If you need more power, then break out split and xargs -P. Use flock. Use mktemp.
12 12
Your bullshit multi-threaded Python abominations are your problem. Don't make them mine.
13 13
## Thou shalt always check last mod times.
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You sure that's the right file?
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-Are you even on the right host?
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+Fuck me, are you even on the right host?
16 16
## Thou shalt not blame DNS.
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Despite what the Interwebs told you, it's not DNS.
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And for the love of god use dig - nslookup is for small children and Principal NodeJS Developers.